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Modern Dictionary

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1 Modern Dictionary on Fri Oct 15, 2010 5:12 am

Rounak


Admin
Hey guys, I guess most of you have already read these funky meanings. But, I would still love to post 'em here. Perhaps some of you haven't encountered 'em before


1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.


2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.


3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master .


4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage .


5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".


6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest share.


8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power. ..


9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.


10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.


11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.


12. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.


13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.


16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.


18. Experience: The name human beings give to their mistakes.


19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.



22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.


23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."


24. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .


25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.


26. Father: A banker provided by nature.


27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.


28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.


30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.


31. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails..

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